I was quiet and passive as an adolescent. In Junior High I had a small group of friends but I never felt content with my school experience. I was reserved and I kept my thoughts to myself. One evening I had the opportunity to go to a High School basketball game with my sister and I was never more proud to stand by her. She offered me a great service that night. We can build confidence in ourselves when someone else stands by us and supports us.

I am finally a teenager. A tall mature 13 year old. My parents give me free reign to come and go with my older sister when I have her permission. My sister is going to the basketball game against our rival team tonight. I asked if I could go with her. She gave me the clearance to go along with a few rules, “yes, you can go. Find your friends and then come and sit in the cheer section over by me. Be ready to go by 6:30.”  

Now that I am officially a teenager I desperately want to explore what is beyond the boundaries of my Jr. high borders. I throw myself on my bed and stare at my yellow painted paneled walls and I let my mind wander off into a world of possibilities. I find myself longing to be in other places. In my small town opportunities come around once a year and if you miss them you have to wait until the next year. For instance, I can’t wait until the county fair. I dream of the big overhead lights being turned on when dusk settles on the stands and the stock enters the rodeo grounds. The dust is kicked up from the arena and I can smell the burgers frying on the hot grill. I imagine the warm sticky honey butter sliding down my chin as I devour a hot scone. I can also envision myself sitting in the stands during a heated basketball game where the whole school is pounding on the wooden benches to, “we will we will rock you!” I hear in the distance the halftime buzzer blaring across the gym and we all run to be the first in line at the concession stand. At last I am visualizing myself lounging in the auditorium on opening night of the community play. I want to be where there is people, energy, and of course concession stands! On Second thought maybe it’s the food I am drawn to. Because to be honest I don’t know if I would show up to any of it without the food. When I am at home I am bored and I feel a bit melancholy. When I do have opportunities to go to events I am a little awkward and the right words never come out of my mouth. I think I want to be out doing something and go beyond this dusty little town. Someday…. I will do just fine as long as other people don’t hug me, talk to me, or shove me front and center. My daydreaming comes to a halt as I get up from my bed. I check the time and it’s almost 6:00pm. I realize I am saved from tonight’s re-run of Fresh Prince. 

I kneel on my dark red worn carpet and sort through the pants in my drawer. I need something that will look good on these legs that never seem to stop growing. I hope my top half will catch up with my bottom one day. Oh well! I look through my options and I determine what would be comfortable, contouring, and colorful. I walk to my closet doors. The left dark stained bi-fold door is closed to the center of the closet. The other bi-fold is open and hangs back against the frame of the closet as it dangles from the top. I slide the left door open and the meager belongings are displayed in front of me. I am aiming for something casual but not too sloppy. I want something that will hide the redness in my rosy cheeks but look great against my skin tone. I chose a button up collared blue shirt that works great with my cropped asymmetrical haircut. I put on my stiff jeans and suck in as I button the top of my pants. I tuck my blue shirt into my pants. I pull half of the shirt out so it hangs below the top hem of my jeans and elongates my short waist.      

I walk into my parents bathroom and fumble through the wide drawers for my moms mis-matched foundation. I hurriedly rub the foundation all over my face and check my jaw for make-up lines. I find a partially dried out mascara tube and I comb the tar like substance onto my eyelashes. I look in the mirror and I say, “well, hello gorgeous!” I wink at the young girl in the mirror and give her a thumbs up. I take one last glance at my reflection and emphatically say, “Knock ‘em dead!” I hit the light on the wall as I closed the bathroom door. 

  Together, my sister and I walk through the blue double doors at the front entrance of her high school. Panic strikes through me. What if my friends aren’t here? What if I have to sit alone? What if I have to go to the bathroom? What if my sister leaves without me? What if I have to walk solo in front of all of the whole High School? Maybe this was a bad idea coming to the game.  

We pass by a few of my sister’s guy friends as she waves. I look dreamily into their eyes. They are so HOT! I stay close to her side as we continue past the office and down the hall to the gym doors. Whistles, cheers, and tennis shoes squeaking on the clean floor roar out of the wooden doors that are propped open. We walk past the first set of heavy doors. We glance in and we see parents, children, and our team sitting on the light colored wooden benches. The serious score keepers are set up in the middle of the two teams and they are focused on fouls, shots, and keeping the time. 

We come to the second set of doors and the crowd is screaming and cheering on our team. The opposing teams’ friends and families sprinkle the west end of the bleachers. We stop as my sister leans up against the middle metal support of the door and she scans the cheer section looking for a place to squeeze into. My sister walks confidently to the cheer section as I follow her beside her walking closest to the court. My junior high confidence is waning and I am feeling like my legs are suddenly growing again. My hair is too lopsided and maybe everyone can see that I didn’t blend my make-up around my hairline. I inch closer to my sister hoping that some of my timid nature will sluff off of me. The horns from the pep band are blaring and the panther mascot is running back and forth in front of the screaming crowd. The student inside of the hot mascot suit is pumping the crowd up with his antics. We push our way in between the cheerleaders and the students sitting on the front of the bleachers. My sister points towards the band section where a few middle schoolers are sitting. My face flushes a thousand shades of red as I realize there are only a few boys from my class. I give them a half smile and work my way toward them. I try to let the music and the energetic cheerleaders drown out my nerves. 

There are four minutes until half time and I have the sudden urge to go to the bathroom. Is it an urge to go to the bathroom or is it an urge to remove myself from these 13 year old boys I am stuck with for the next hour. I don’t know. I need air and I need to get out into the hallway for a little relief. My only way out of this packed gym is alone in front of what feels like thousands of screaming overgrown teenage boys. I sense that I am like a young shy chicken about to embark on a journey in front of a bunch of hungry pit bulls. I fluff my feathers and I hold my head high as I work my way down the bleachers. I yell, “EXCUSE ME! PLEASE MOVE!” as I tap random shoulders and wiggle my way through the crowd. My sneaker hits the court and everything goes into slow motion. Blue and white pom pom’s shake and move all around my face, people are laughing, and licorice ropes are being thrown around the crowd. I Iock my eyes on the metal frame of the double doors. I repeat to myself, ’Nothing will come between me and those doors. Just walk..breathe..and look like you are confident…that’s what everybody says to do.’ I square my shoulders and flip my one-sided permed hair to the side and I start the long walk from one end of the gym to the other. 

I am almost halfway to my target point and my eyes are still locked on the doors of freedom. I am giddy inside because I have all but made it past the cheering section. My eyes are up, my head has not moved its position, and I am ignoring everything around me when suddenly I go flying through the air. I find myself sprawled out on the gym floor face down in front of a mob of teenage boys. Time stops. I glance at the glossy yellow gym floor and then my eyes move to the foot that tripped me. I stare at the tan leather hush puppies with the laces casually hanging to each side of the shoe in front of me on the ground. Then I follow his wrangler covered legs all the way up to his face. He and his friends are laughing uncontrollably. I realize what has just happened as I force my gangly legs to pull me to a standing position. I scan the crowd and it seems that everyone is pointing at me, the gawky girl. 

In all fairness, as I start to understand a teenage boy’s mind a little more (maybe)…I think that the situation could have been comical. He probably conjured the idea up in his head and decided to go for it. I am sure he was looking to give his friends a good laugh.  

In light of my endless stream of tears running from my face I take off for the girls bathroom as fast as I can go. I hide in the shelter of the dingy smelling girls’ room. Trying to sort out in my head why he did that to me. I am not going to leave this room. My sister will have to come and find me. I will just slide down in this unkempt corner with the dust bunnies and hide here for the rest of the game.

Just after I had sealed my fate to spend the rest of the hour with the dust bunnies someone called my name from out in the hall. “Dari….Dari… come here, right now.” I dried my tears and glanced in the blurred mirror. My cheeks are red and hot and my eyes are swollen. I slowly walk out of the bathroom and my sister’s friend points down the hallway to a group of kids up against the cement wall. “Your sister is talking to Tim, and he is waiting to apologize to you.” 

I walk slowly towards my sister and she is talking sternly to her underclassman. She stands with conviction as she points her finger into his chest. She is flanked by two big burly seniors as I find the determination to walk next to the group of boys. 

I walk slowly and stand in front of Tim with my eyes downcast. Tim looks at me with swollen eyes as he says with his head bent down, “I’m sorry.” I nod at him and I walk away with my sister at my side. 

We find a seat away from the deafening crowd. She and I, along with her friends in their muscle shirts, finish watching the game together. I felt safe and my nerves melted away because of the way my sister responded to the situation. 

Above all this was probably one of the most humiliating moments in my life. What made this incident a little better was a sister who supported and served me in my time of need. She made me feel loved and that night she helped me build a little more confidence in myself. She acted instantly to my embarrassing situation. She served me by righting a wrong and she gave me a safety net to fall back on.  

            If you ever find yourself in need of a service or a little extra support here are a few things that worked for me.

1. Find good friends: When I have people in my corner I am capable of doing hard things.
2. Build self confidence: I found that even though I was in a really bad situation I walked away with a little more self-confidence because someone cared about me. 
3. Ask for help: I did not have the ability to pull that teenage boy from the benches and serve him a big slice of humble pie. I needed help and someone I could lean on until I could help myself.  

To add to this, here’s a nutritious blueberry muffin recipe. This muffin is packed with extra blueberries and whole grains. One of the ingredients in this recipe is wheat bran. Which I used to think was an overly dry flaky byproduct that didn’t pack a lot of nutritional power. Well I was wrong. Here are some awesome facts about wheat bran: 

• Condensed source of fiber 
• Complete source of protein 
• Excellent for your digestive system 

Blueberry Muffins 

245 g/1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour 

60 g/1 cup Wheat bran 

1 tsp. cinnamon 

2 tsp. baking Powder

½ tsp baking Soda 

¾ tsp salt 

2 large eggs (room temp.)

170 g/½ cup honey 

115 g/1/2 cup butter (melted or room temp.)

120 g/ ½ cup Whole milk (room temp.)

180g/3/4 cup creme fraiche (you can also use yogurt) 

1 Tbsp. vanilla extract

375 g/2 1/2 Cups blueberries (fresh or frozen)

Directions 

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and spray a standard 12-cup muffin tin with nonstick cooking spray. You can also line with paper liners.  
2. In a large bowl, stir together flour, wheat bran, cinnamon, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. 
3. In a medium bowl whisk together eggs, sugar, butter, milk, creme fraiche, and vanilla until well combined. 
4. Pour butter mixture into dry ingredients and fold with a rubber spatula until ingredients are just combined. 
5. Gently fold in the blueberries. 
6. With an ice cream scoop, scoop out a heaping ⅔ cup of batter- filling the muffin tin full. 
7. Bake for 35-45 minutes or until the muffins are golden on the top and the spring back. Let the muffins cool in the pan on a wire rack for 20 minutes and then remove them from the pan. 

Resources:

https://www.bobsredmill.com/blog/featured-articles/wheat-bran-nutrition-facts/

https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2017/09/how-helping-others-improves-your-self-esteem