I remember a time when others needed my help. I had several opportunities to stand up and make a difference. When we help others, it can boost their confidence, bring a smile to their face, and help them find better solutions. 

 “Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.” 

Helen Keller

Watching from a distance

At this time, I stand on the playground and imagine the tormentors are two wolves pushing domesticated animals further away from the farm. The animals left the security of the farmer and the fence. They could have been kept safe. The predators are trying to isolate them. They want them alone so they will be able to tear into them.

I stand from a distance, next to the swings, watching the fifth-grade bullies following two underdogs.

I put my hand over my eyes to shade the hot afternoon sun. The giant willow trees are motionless in the warm afternoon. I see my classmates way off in the distance. They are walking further and further to the edge of the outer field beyond the line of the trees. The bullies taunt, curse, and ridicule their prey as they follow behind.

It makes me uncomfortable as I watch them jeer and make fun of them. I am figuring out how to help them. They would have a chance if they would fight for themselves. The defeated classmates are my friends. I need to find a way to help encourage them and strengthen them.

I know the bullies; they are robust, rugged, and burly. They come from dominant stock.

I envision the bullies working out by throwing hay bales to their cattle before dawn. Then, they are fed steak and eggs for breakfast. Their after-school snack is a slab of elk jerky from last year’s kill. At night, they come in from cutting strings, scattering hay, and burning the twine. Their mothers serve them with beef stew sprinkled with beans and a side of whole wheat bread. Their meal is complete with a slice of fresh apple pie. They wash up after nightly chores, flex their muscles in the mirror, and comb their hair back. Their reflection resembles dominance, influence, and control.

I continue to squint and watch the bullies dominate the situation on the playground. I see someone pushed to the ground. A miracle happens, and the recess bell rings out and rescues them from their awful fate.

I watch as the oppressors run towards the large double doors. I wait at the steps and ask my friends as they saunter towards me, “Are you guys okay?” They respond with their eyes downcast, “We’re alright.”

The boys walk into the classroom in a somber mood. 

Helen Keller, an author and educator who overcame deafness and blindness, said, “Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.” 

Right now, I am walking with two friends in the dark. We must find a solution that can encourage them to stand up.

My heart feels heavy as I watch this happen day after day.

Back of the school Bully

The following week, I raced outside to get in line to play tetherball during recess. The line is long, and the sun beats down my neck and back.

I look to the back of the playground, where the brown wooden treehouse supports all the popular sixth-grade girls. Their club is elite. You must have particular shoes, a confident personality, a specific color of jacket, and knowledge of the secret word to access the passageway into the private club.

I stop and stare at the elevated brown clubhouse, and for a small moment, I wish I could be a part of their group. Then, before my eyes, a girl is rejected from the group and walks away with sadness. The boys are taunting the girls inside the small building with shouts of entry. The boys and the dejected ones pound the small building with willows and sticks. The secret club girls call out names and stomp on the outsider’s hands with their shoes’ thick, hard rubber. I think to myself, “Uhhhh, I’ll keep walking. I don’t want to be a part of that.”

The metal monkey bars stand in the shade. I see some friends hanging upside down and swinging with their knees looped over the cool silver bars. I smile at their red faces and see their hair dangling in the soft breeze. Some are attempting to walk across the bars that tower above me.

I continued walking in the shade alone and heard a noise from behind the school. I look over, and a small, tight group is formed with someone in the middle.

Kids are piling out of the tree house. Others are jumping down from all angles of the monkey bars, and I hurry beside them to see what is happening. I push my way into the circle, and a fellow classmate is lying face down on the ground. An older tyrant is sitting on his back and throwing punches into his back.

We stand there with discomfort and worry. The bully continues to pummel his back for another five minutes.

Someone must have been brave enough to go tell on the sixth-grader beating up a small fifth-grade boy. The teacher rounds the corner and yanks the girl from the boy’s back. We stood there in shock for a moment.

The teacher turns back to the crowd, holding a firm hand on the sixth grader. “Go on! Go and play!”

I walk away, thanking my lucky stars that I wasn’t the one face down with my head buried in the dirt. I feel sorry for Tim and the others who seem to be at the mercy of the school tormentors.

Tetherball Tormentor 

Finally, the snow falls, and the school resorts to inside recess. The teacher’s instructions are to play in the gym. Kids are playing basketball, dodgeball, or chasing someone around. The kids who do the oppressing have settled down and are focusing on their game shots.

The oppressed kids huddle into groups in the library, stand close to the teachers on duty, and camouflage in the corner of the gym. Others get permission from the teacher to stay sitting at their desks. They stay away from the intense basketball competitions and the dodgeballs whizzing by.

Spring has come, and everyone is itching to get back outside for recess.

The grass is starting to green up, and the leaves on the trees are budding. The cool breeze with the intense sun shining down makes throwing the tetherball around the pole a perfect day.

I walk over to the court, and the grass around the edge of the concrete is sparse, with dirt patches showing through. There, several kids huddled near the line to play the game.

A stout and domineering fourth-grader starts calling names to a schoolmate, and he walks up to shove him out of the way.

I say a silent prayer, “Help me; I’m going in to help my friend.” I step out of line directly in front of the fourth grader. My height matches his. I stand toe to toe with him, and I shout in his face, “SHUT UP YA BIG FATTY!”

I don’t think that was the help that Heaven had in mind for me. That is what came out of my mouth. I wanted to fight him with words that would hurt him and stop him from being cruel to other kids.

He took a step back from me. He had fire in his eyes. Behind that fire, I could see the hurt. For a small moment, I felt ashamed that I had stooped to calling names.

The fire returned in his eyes, and he said, “OH YEAH! You think you’re so good? Step up to the tetherball, and I will beat you!”

He looked like a big, angry bull. His large feet were stomping the concrete. His head was moving back and forth with embarrassment and anger. Steam was rushing out of his wide nostrils from being called out in front of his peers.

Next is the moment that Heaven stepped in and helped out.

I straighten my back and confidently walk up to the court. I gather all the positive energy within me. I know I can take on this tyrant at a game of tetherball.

I grab the faded yellow ball hanging on the end of a weathered rope and look directly at him, “I’ll take the first hit!” I hit the ball low, which circled high above his head. He reached, but the ball returned to me as I continued to hit it repeatedly with such force that it was tightly wrapped around the top of the pole. 

I won! 

Cheers shot up from behind me. He looks at me with distaste and slowly walks away.

At last, I dared to help someone and stand up for the ‘little guys’.

Above all, fighting for a good cause left me elated. I felt empowered to stand up for others and help where I was needed. I have never called anyone else a “big fatty” again. (Although, there may have been other things I’ve said.)

I hope my words and actions made a little difference in someone’s life that day. It was a clear message from a fifth-grader’s perspective at the time. 

In conclusion, lifting a helping hand can help others move mountains under challenging circumstances. Using your strength to stand up for others who are not strong will encourage them to believe in themselves. Serving others creates a bond, a kinship, and a strong connection. In this world full of opposition and darkness, let’s have the courage to shine our light and show the way.

If you are not inclined to scream insults at someone surrounded by a group of peers, here are some other suggestions you could try to help lift a friend: 

1. Listen to a child, a spouse, or a friend. Recently, I had a friend who listened to me when I was struggling. It gave me courage to fight my battles and it gave me strength to put one foot in front of the other.
2. Text a kind message to someone who is struggling. When I receive a kind text it can completely turn my day around. I think of the kind words throughout the day and I can’t help but smile.
3. Do a service for someone who is having a hard day. This is something everyone can do. A smile, a hug, or just a friendly compliment is going the extra mile. “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” Gandhi

Author’s Note: Join me this Christmas in lighting the world: Text LIGHT to 71234. You will receive texts reminding you to help lift others around you. Spread your light! 

Resources:

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/helen_keller_384608

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/mahatma_gandhi_150725

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/light-the-world