Feelings of exhaustion and being overwhelmed can make life complicated. We can experience apathy, frustration, and fear during these difficult times. Every human that ever lived has dealt with these emotions. 

“A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.”

Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Being overwhelmed reminds me of when I was standing in my living room next to my husband as he received a phone call. 

Accepting an offer

Last weekend was one of the most incredible days of my life! Alan received his degree after seven long years. Now, we are waiting on several offers from companies he applied to. He has interviewed with two companies. Now we wait. The three older kids are at school, my toddler is napping in her crib, and Alan is finishing up at the University. I take a quiet moment to get on my knees and pray for guidance.  I start my prayer, “Heavenly Father, we are at another crossroads in our life. I want to go to a place where my family will have experiences. I want us to continue to grow together as a family and gain knowledge as we move to a new location. Wherever you need us to go, I will go. With You guiding our family, I know it will benefit us in the best way possible.” I end my prayer, and I stay on my knees for a moment to listen. 

Alan walks in the front door and announces that he received a job offer from INL. I am excited that he is employable and that our future will be bright. I think about my prayer and the latest news my husband has been given, and I don’t feel anything in my heart or mind. Together, we decided to wait for another offer from the other company he applied to. Neither of us should jump on the offer.     

An hour later, the phone rings and the other company is at the end of the line, saying, “We would like to offer you a job. We hope you can work in Puyallup, WA, for four weeks. We will then move you to the Jerome office. The business is a few miles North of the Perrine Bridge outside Twin Falls. I am close to Alan’s side to hear every word from the cell phone. Immediately, my mind lights up like it’s the fourth of July. I have a full-on fireworks display going off inside of me. Bursts of light, bright sparklers, and Roman candles answer my prayer. Alan gets off the phone, and we are both beaming. We both know the direction that God has planned for our family.

Preparing to leave the Palouse 

   A quote by Lucius Annaeus Seneca, who was a philosopher of ancient Rome, states, “A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.” I knew the fireworks would only last so long. I recently started having heart palpitations as I lie down at night, and my energy hit an all-time low. The friction was about to hit the gem I had been polishing for the last seven years. 

Besides not having any energy and heart issues, Alan must fly out the following Monday morning. I have four children and a whole house to move by myself. I am overwhelmed and exhausted, and fear is starting to creep up my neck and choke me. 

My neighbor stood on my porch at my front door the next day. I smile and wave at her and open the brownish-purple antique door. I tell her the good news and where we are relocating to. She responds with excitement and says, “Let me help you! I can meal-plan with you and help you a couple of times a week with food.” I am like a Looney Tunes character from the eighties. My jaw drops to the floor, and my eyes pop out. I hear the iconic music in the background,” BOING!” and I want to tip my head up and howl excitedly! I collect myself, “You don’t have to do that. Alan will be gone for a whole month. That’s a long time to commit to helping me.” She smiles, “Don’t worry about it. I will be over later to make a menu with you.” She turned to leave, and I genuinely thanked her. 

Later, I drive down to pick up the children and tell them the good news. After home, I feed the kids a quick snack and clean up. I am exhausted. I need Sidnee to watch the baby briefly while I nap. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I have been so tired all the time recently.  

Finally, Monday came, and we dropped Alan off at the airport to fly to Seattle. We wait in the small graveled lot and wave until our arms are sore and the plane is out of sight. We drive home in the typical spring overcast weather. The clouds in the air hang low, and the rain starts to sprinkle down on our windshield. The weather resembles my mood. I am melancholy and tired, and my tears want to trickle out. I have so much work ahead of me and am doing it alone.  

The next four weeks are filled with love, homemade pizza, pasta, early summer vegetables, and picnics in our shared backyard. My son eats so much pizza our friends wonder if he will make it through the night. Brit smiles and says, “That is so good! Could I have one more?” We all yell in unison, “NO!” Britton smiles and rubs his tummy with satisfaction. Thanks to my wonderful neighbors, I can accomplish much more with their help. They are a Godsend.

Packing Day  

Alan has finally returned with the U-Haul and cautiously backs it up to the small attached garage. I am so relieved he is here. Anahi and I start throwing boxes into the back of the U-Haul at high speed.  

After hauling boxes, directing kids, and running up and down the stairs for four hours, I’m exhausted. We are not going to make it out of here today. I see three men from our Ward walk through the front door. The sunlit day casts a heavenly glow around their heads as they walk into my living room. My eyes are sweaty, and my mind has been foggy lately. I don’t acknowledge them by name. I nod and direct them to waiting boxes. My sweet neighbor from across the street walks in, picks up a broom, and sweeps my floors. 

Finally, we are almost ready to go. It is four o’clock, and Alan asks, “Dari, where are the van keys?” I blink and stare, “I don’t know?” I am so worn out and tired, “I don’t know!” He looks at me, “Are you serious? You don’t know where you put the keys?” I looked at the giant U-Haul that had grown in size. It is jammed full from floor to ceiling, and I wonder if they are somewhere in that big hunk of junk. Everyone stops and stares at me. I make eye contact with everyone looking in my direction one at a time, “I don’t know where they are. I’ll be right back.” I turn and run up my purple-painted steps, and I run past the blocky white columns. I run past my neighbor, sweeping my floors. I fling open the door on a diagonal in my kitchen, and I trust my legs to carry me down the narrow, steep wooden steps. I hold my shaky hand out to the bricked wall at the bottom of the steps and turn on the two cinder blocks placed on the floor. I come to a stop in the middle of the laundry room. A thin blue rug covered the cold cement floor, and I fell on my knees. “Heavenly Father, I can’t do it anymore. I have spent all my energy, and I need your help. I can’t find my keys. We have to have the keys. Please help, please help me.” I direct the last bit of energy I have into my prayer, and I wait. I enjoy another 20 seconds of rest on my knees. I wait, and in my foggy mind, a picture of a blackened/bronze handle forms in my head.

I jumped back on my feet and retraced my steps to Alan. I yell his name, “ALAN, ALAN! They are in the drawer in the buffet.” Our friend points at the cabinet buried at the bottom about a quarter of the way in. “Yes! That’s the one. Can you get to it?” I stand at the back of the U-Haul with the corrugated door pushed up as the men hurry and push boxes aside. Jeff finally gets to the drawer. He opens it up, digs through all the junk, and says, “Oh my goodness, Dari! Here they are!”

At last, I sat in my old red van with three children buckled between suitcases, lamps, and other random items. Alan and Britton jump into the U-Haul and Britton waves at us. Anahi knocks on my car windows as I am gathering my thoughts. I need to remember which pedal is the gas and which is the brake. I roll down my window, and she hands me a container of homemade empanadas and freshly washed strawberries. My eyes water as I look at her, “You did this for us?” She smiles and says, “You’ll need it for the long car ride ahead. We will miss you guys! Safe travels.” I wave goodbye to her as I pull away from the edge of our driveway for the last time. She lingers on the green grass and waves back to our family.    

Here are three suggestions that can help when we are overwhelmed:   

1.  Reach out to a friend. I never did reach out to a friend. She reached out to me over and over with meal planning and feeding my family week after week. She showed up to help us move, then sent us our way with some of her delicious empanadas. I couldn’t have hand-selected a better friend. God blessed us with wonderful neighbors. 
2. Communicate: Sometimes, we don’t need physical help. Sometimes, we need someone to listen to us, and we find a way up. Solutions come after we have talked over our problems with someone else. 
3. Take a break: Taking a break can help us re-prioritize what is essential, and we can focus better. Although I was too busy to take a break on the day we moved, I can count my prayers in my head, and the short prayer in my laundry as a much-needed break.    

*Note to reader: This memory of being one of the times I could not handle the challenge before me sticks out. However, moving is horrible in every sense of its existence. I later found that I had an issue with my thyroid, which explains the brain fog, heart palpitations, and extreme tiredness. No worries! I got it all straightened out.

References: 

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/lucius_annaeus_seneca_162971

How to Take Care of Yourself When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed